2 Corinthians 4:16-18

                                      

                                             

Hannah is our miracle!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

¹⁶ So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, ¹⁸ as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

We endure the pain of losing a child to Jesus arms.  But we look forward one day being in  heaven and we will be spending eternity with Hannah Grace.  Until then we will do God's work here on earth.  We will be a light in this world for Jesus Christ! 

Love, Sandi Kwant (Martin, Sam, Cassie, Heidi, Valerie, Nathan, Terri Lynn, and Hannah's mommy)

John 9:1-3

Hannah all snugly!

John 9:1-3
As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. ² And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” ³ Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.


As I read this scripture and many of my friends remind me of this scripture.  Hannah was born with Trisomy 18 not because Rick and I were in sin but for the glory of God.  God had a purpose for Hannah's Trisomy 18.  I will probably not know the extent of the workings of God through my sweet Hannah.  But I do know she blessed and minister to many!  It gives me peace to know God had a purpose for Hannah's life. I will trust God and not go crazy trying to figure out that purpose.  Someday I will know, (in heaven)

Love, Sandi (Hannah's mommy)

Emails in Reply to the Above Rubies Article

Emails in Reply to the Above Rubies Article

Here is a couple emails I received in respoonse to the article I wrote that was in Ablove Rubies Magazine.  These emails are all from people I have never meant!


Hi Sandi, Rick and all the family,

We have just read your article about Baby Hannah, my granddaughter and myself.

We are so encouraged by your story about Hannah and her value and place in his kingdom.

You are soooo blessed to have that opportunity! We had a homeschool family near to us

go through this too. 

My granddaughter wants to say something too. : ) :

Hello this is (name removed) i am so sorry about sweet Hannah

she was very cute and she was a blessing too
when i was reading this article i started to cry

i thought how sad it was :( i will be praying for you and your family

its hard to lose someone that you truly love.

Love and lots of Hugs to you all,


Blessings,
(name removed)

Dear Sandi,

I was just rereading my Above Rubies and your article about your precious little baby Hannah. I noticed that you live in Mt. Vernon and wanted to say "hi" from Ferndale. Did you go to the AR conference last Fall? I stopped in really quickly (I came from a retreat where I was speaking in Sumas) and I gave a short testimony about having a baby at the age of 45.

Your article was such an encouragement. I am sure that God is still mightily using the life and death of your precious daughter to impact many people.

May God bless and keep you as you serve Him.

(Name removed) (proud mom of 8 ages 6 to 26)

Hi Sandi!

I've been thinking of you and praying for you all. :) I was in our local health store the other day and it is called The Vine and is owned by two Christian families. One of the owner's is Stephanie and I went in to talk to her and get some natural stuff to try and fight off this horrible cough my son and I have. While I was checking out she mentioned how we had come in shortly after Lilly's death. She said that just a day or two after that, she got the Above Rubies magazine and found your article about Hannah in there. I was happy to be able to tell her that I have gotten to know you.

That is probably the fifth person that told me they had read Hannah's article. I love that. I want everyone to know about our special girls!

Anyway, just wanted to share that.

Love,

Trisomy mommy

Hello! My name is Hannah , im 21 and I live in York, ME. I just read your article in my newest issue of Above Rubies... Isnt that magazine such a blessing? I just love it.

Your story was so very touching! Thank you for opening it up and sharing it with believers around the globe, once again showing God in His amazing faithfulness....

I was emailing to recommend a video online for you to watch. Its about 4 minutes long (i think) called 99 Balloons. Have you seen it? It's on youtube and definitely one of my most favorite videos... Because, like your story of Hannah Grace, the life of the little baby in the video perfectly exemplified to those around him the mystery of God, His divine will and the importance of trusting He knows more than us.... regardless of the circumstances or outcome.

I wanted to write you and recommend that video if you hadn't seen it!

Take care, and sending blessings from one side of the country to the other :-)

Hannah

just wanted to write to thank you for the Article in Above Rubies of your little baby, we also had a little girl 3 years ago with trisomy 18, she only lived 3 days, but those were 3 bittersweet, blessed days! My mom really enjoyed reading your article, thanks again! ~L

There are a few more from Africa but I can't find the emails.  I will put them on once I find them.

Love, Sandi

Thanks for the Gifts for Hannah! What a Blessing!

Hannah one day old!

Thanks for the Gifts for Hannah!  What a Blessing!

I thought I'd do a public thanks to everyone who blessed us with gifts for Hannah!  We felt loved and honored to be showered with gifts that showed love!  I have to tell this story.  I loved sending thank you notes for gift and meals given.  It is just my thing I love to do it and it makes me feel good to express my thanks in some sort of way.  I treasured every gift.  Anyway I'd not make too much time because of all the extra work caring for Hannah was and homeschooling my other children.  I was still determined to send out thank you notes.  I am thankful I did this task now,  I have my written list of gift and the giver in my journal.  The middle of the nights when Hannah Grace was not sleeping and I was getting frustrated because I was so tired and really needed to sleep.  In order to not get frustrated and depressed about it.  I'd do little quiet jobs around the house with Hannah bouncing in my arms.  I cleaned the school room,  the kitchen and my favorite task,  writing thank you notes while bouncing Hannah in my left arm and writing with my right arm.  (maybe my notes where not as neat as I usually do so this is the reason why).  This act of doing something positive in the middle of the night really helped my attitude and I did end of getting some sleep before I needed to feed Hannah again.  (But God's grace and provision I really never felt tired during the day)

Here is my list of people to thank for the special gift meant just for Hannah or our family! 
Hannah's sisters: Cassie, Heidi, Valerie, and Terri Lynn,  Hannah's brothers: Martin, Sam, and Nathan, Hannah's grandparents:  Grandma Gertie,  Pake and Beppe, Aunt Jill,  Fleury family,  Hodge family, Seager family, VandenBosch family, Aunt Anita, Sybrandy family, Glasglow family, Hibma famly,  Anderson family, Diele family, Plantich family, McGlinchy family, Rogers family, Jones family, Dutton Family, Gomez family, Wargo family, Marker family, Griepsma family, Fielder family, Brawley family, DeJager family, Poortinga family, Bakke family, Aunt Janet, Edlund family, Anderson family, Hilker family, DeJong family, Weyers family, Uptain family, Bitto family, Firman family, Bradbury family, Cocheba family, Holzknect family, Westra family, Cousin Lydia, VanderLei family, Skelton family, Andringa family, Miller family, Williamson family, Garrish family, Graham family, Orange family, VanBerkum family, Sybrandy family, Mass family, Wolters family, Kuipers family, Ware family, Lingenfelter family
I am hoping I did not forget anyone.  If I did I must have forgotten to write it down in my journal.  When Hannah was with us I had a notebook which I wrote in but I did forget once in a while. 

Philippians 1:3&4
³ I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, ⁴ always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy,

Love, Sandi (Mommy)

Remembering My Pregnancy: The Birth Day! Part 2

 The kids got to see Hannah real soon after she was born.  They all said she was so small!

At first all we could do was hold her hand and stroke her body! 

But we did not complain!

Remembering My Pregnancy:  The Birth Day! Part 2

I was so glad to be able to see Hannah and sit with her all day.  Here is my remembering account of the rest of the Hannah's Birth Day.  I go into her room in the NICU and see her laying in her warming bed all hooked up to an IV, monitor cord, and nasal cannula.  Hannah looked so peaceful and I really wanted to hold her but I was afraid to hold her because of all the cords and I did not know I could.  I was not sure I could,  Do I ask a nurse?  My children came in to see Hannah often taking turns,  My mom, Rick's mom and Aunt Jill all came in too to see Hannah!  They all loved you at first sight and thought you were so small!  We had not named you Hannah yet.  We were trying to decide between Lucy Grace and Hannah Grace.  While I was sitting alone with you Hannah, holding your hands, stroking your body  crying tears of joy and fears,  and laughing with peace.. I know God told me her name is Hannah Grace.  I told Rick and he was excited to tell the kids and everyone else!  Hannah Grace Kwant

Hannah's Neonatologist came to talk to Rick. She told him she thought for sure Hannah has Trisomy 18.  She gave him her reasons, all the physical makers where there.  Like her fingers, low set ears, and her other features.  I remember thinking when Hannah was first born,  she probably has Trisomy 18 as her fingers look like a typical Trisomy 18 child.  I don't care I love my baby anyway!  We will do all we can for her and love her as our child!!  Hannah is my miracle child and always will be.  The doctor also told Rick that we'd get a genetic testing done to see if she has Full Trisomy 18 or Mosaic Trisomy 18.  Mosaic Trisomy 18 would be a better diagnosis.  Rick really like Hannah's neonatalogist.  She is so kind and gentle. 

So lunch time came around.  I decided I needed to eat something.  So did the family,  Martin, Sam, Cassie, Heidi, Valerie, Nathan, Terri Lynn, my mom and dad, Rick's mom and Aunt Jill all went to the hospital cafeteria to have lunch. The kids loved being able to chose something special for lunch.  Rick and I went to eat lunch in my room where I gave birth to Hannah.  I shared my lunch with Rick.  While I was eating Hannah's doctor Kendra Smith came to talk with me and Rick.  She shared again her reasons that she believes Hannah has Trisomy 18 and asked us the hard questions which I just can't answer.  Like how long do you want us to do CPR on her to save her?  Do you want us to feed her?  Do we even try to resuscitate her?  I can not answer the questions but yes feed her and treat her as a normal baby.  We don't even know for sure she has Trisomy 18.  I cried a bunch while Dr. was there.  I usually don't cry much but today I was full of tears.  I'm not ready to let Hannah go!  I love her so much!  Thank the Lord God that we did not have to make no CPR decision while Hannah was in the NICU.  (You see Trisomy 18 babies forget to breath)

The NICU always have rounds which the nurses, doctors, therapist all get together and talk about the babies that are in the NICU.  Today I did not want to go to rounds I was to tired and weepy and just wanted to be with my baby.  I also did not want to hear the "bad diagnosis" for my baby!  Rick later asked me what should be do if we need to revieve Hannah?  Do we try to save her?  Do we let her go?  I cried, Rick cried!  This decision is too much for us!  Rick called his good friend and he gave us a very godly answer and just the words we needed to hear.  Do everything you can to save her until you know for sure she has Trisomy 18 and then you can decide from there!  Rick and I have peace with this answer. Rick went right away to the Doctor and told her this.  She was ok with our decision! 

Pastor Jon and Kelsy came to see Hannah and they prayer over her! 

I needed a nap so I stayed in my room after lunch to take a little nap.  I was so tired.  But I could not sleep.  At least I could close my eyes for a bit and pray.  Tami Hodge came to see me.  I cried as I told her what the doctors are asking us about Hannah. She prayed for us.  I decide I need to go into the bathroom again but this time I look at myself in the mirror!  Holy smoke I look terrible!  My eyes are so swollen from crying and lack of sleep!  No wonder my mom and Rick's mom and Aunt Jill told me to take a nap!  I looked so silly!   Tami stayed with me while I put some make up on at least I'm trying to look better.  I helped alittle!  Tami was so sweet she said I looked beautiful!

  Terri Lynn with me in the wheel chair and see in the back ground Cassie is carrying the beautiful bag of really neat stuff she made for Hannah!

Being wheeled in the wheelchair with Terri Lynn (Dylan Hodge wheeled me around too!)

Dylan Hodge wheeled me around the wheel chair which he enjoyed and Martin and Sam enjoyed that he came to visit.  Dylan is Martin and Sam's good friend and a great family friend!  Dylan wheeled me down the the waiting area where everyone waited for their turn to go see Hannah.  Terri Lynn hitched a ride with me and Dylan pushed me to go see Hannah!  (I told myself I'd stay in the wheel chair all day so I could heal faster!)

In the waiting area waiting to see Hannah!

Waiting room again!





Hannah had a few tests done the first day.  These tests were:  x-ray of her lungs,  ultrasound of her digestive system,  Echo cardiogram of her heart.  The tests were all good report.  Her heart does have a couple small holes. The doctor said they were not life threatening!  They will be able to start feeding her now that her digestive system is all connected and she has peed a diaper!  God is answering so many of our prayers! 

 Our sweet baby 2 hours old! 

 Nurse CeCe let me hold her! 



Rick's first time holding Hannah!  He was so excited and blessed to hold her!

Dalee, Nadalee, Olivia came to visit Hannah.  They all got to see Hannah laying in the warming bed.  Dalee told me you need to ask the nurse if you can hold Hannah whenever you want.  So I did ask the nurse and she said yes!  Yeah!!!

 Tami came to visit!

Dalee came to visit!



It has been a long day.  Our family left went home!  Rejoicing their sister is alive!  Rick got dinner from the cafeteria, I had my dinner up at my room from my tray.  After dinner Rick and I went down to be with Hannah.  We stayed until 8pm.  Then we went to bed!  I was tired! Rick slept in my room with me on the pull out bed!  What a blessing to have him right next to me!  .  I lay down to go to sleep and ponder my day.  I think of all the blessing and miracles God has shown us today.  God has His hands in our lives!  I am so happy to be able to hold Hannah!  She is my treasure and so beautiful!  I am proud of my daughter and I love her so much even though she will have special needs.  Who cares we love her no matter what! 

I did not sleep good, I just keep waking up but each time I woke up I knew Hannah was doing good. As the nurses told us if Hannah was not doing good they'd come get us.  It was a blessing to wake up in the morning and not have the NICU team waking us up!  I can't wait to see my baby and my children again today!  What a blessed mom I am! 

Psalms 127

Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.
² It is vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late,
To eat the bread of sorrows;
For so He gives His beloved sleep.

³ Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
⁴ Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
⁵ Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Love, Sandi Kwant (Hananh's mommy)



♥♥♥♥Cassie and Hannah Grace♥♥♥♥

 

Going to church

Finally it was Sunday and mom got Hannah’s feeding stuff all figured out so we could bring Hannah to church. So all the people could meet Hannah during Sunday school mom pumped in the van and then she fed Hannah in the nursery. Now it was time for church in the middle of the service Hannah woke up and started to make noises she was talking to us. So she was making so many noises that dad brought her out of church into the hall way to quiet her down. So was not being fussy she was just making her happy noises.  We were talking to people after church. Dad asked if they heard Hannah making her little noises. They said yes we did hear her, but they said they were enjoying listening to her little noises as much as we were. Dad brought her out because he didn’t want to disturb people from listening to the sermon.

       With Love, Cassie (Hannah Grace's oldest sister)

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥Valerie and Hannah♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Me (Valerie) and Hannah at the therapy place

 when she was born!

cute hat♥

mommy and Hannah

 Hannah in her carseat

 awwww! cute Hannah

 Terri and Hannah

me (Valerie)and Hannah and Heidi

 Heidi and Hannah

 mommy, Hannah, and Terri

 cutie

 under the bili lights

 awwwww!

 awwww! cutie

so cute

awwww!

♥♥♥♥ by Valerie (Hannah's sister)♥♥♥♥♥

Remembering My Pregnancy: The Birth Day! Part 1

 1 Hour before Hannah was born!

Hannah's very first picture 8:07am

Remembering My Pregnancy:  The Birth Day!

We were planning to be at the hospital ready to be induced at 8am but God had other plans.  I awoke up 12:30am in labor!  I had been praying I'd go into labor on my own!  God had answered my prayer!  Thank you Lord!  I wait probably an hour to two hours waiting, pacing the house, wondering if I truly am in labor!  We had been warned to come quick to the hospital as if my water breaks, baby's cord could prolapse and that is very very dangerous for baby!  I usually go really fast when labor starts. 

I wake Rick up and he jumps up out of bed and he races around the house getting ready to go.  He is worried and on fast mode.  He takes the keys the kids need to get to the hospital in the van in the morning.  ( we did not know that until later in the day as the kids were looking all over for the keys so they could come with Pake and Beppe and see Hannah) 

We hop in the pickup and head down to the hospital which is probably about 40 minutes away.  We get checked in at the hospital.  We did checked to make sure I'm in labor and that was confirmed and I was checked for dilatation and I am at 4-5.  They check me into room 330.  I am nervous but ready to see my baby! 

I wait during the night, having contractions all night long, they checked me again for any further dilatation.  I'm dilated to 7 but don't seem to get past 7.  The doctors think my contractions are contracting so much water and Hannah's head is not down far enough so my contractions are only playing with the fluid in my womb. 

Dr. Kendra Smith comes in to see us, she is the neonatologist who will be at Hannah's birth and will be Hannah's doctor.  She came in right away so she could be here for Hannah's birth. She is going into the doctor's sleep room until they call her for Hannah's birth. 

I keep having steady contraction all night long.  The doctors at first don't want to break my water as they are so worried about the cord prolapsing.  As Hannah's head in not all the way down and the cord could fall through instead of Hannah's head. 

The doctor's gave me medicine to make the contractions stronger.  But still not helping much.  At 7:30am, Dr, Pieper  Ob, decided he will break my water during a contraction and he is thinking Hannah's head will come down right away and not the cord.  So here we go.  The doctor breaks my water during a contraction!  It was so funny!  My contraction was big and pow the water exploded!  Water splashed everywhere!  All over the doctor,  water flowed and flowed out!  I wet the bed, the nurse brought a few towels and helped mop up my water mess.  Hannah's head went down and not the cord!  Praise God! 

Now it is a waiting game.  Waiting for the urge to push.  When will that be?  It was about 25  minutes later and the nurse checked me and I was dilated to a 8-9. Rick thought it will be a little bit yet.  I'm going to get coffee.  While Rick was gone, I suddenly had the intense urge to push!  I was so ready.  The nurse immediately paged the doctors, NICU team!  and all who needed to be there! 

The doctor on his way running to my room saw Rick and said to him I'm headed to your wife's room, you better get in there. 
The OB doctor gets ready but I was told not to push just yet as the whole NICU team needs to be here! Then I am told it is ok to push.  I push and Hannah's head is crowning!  I push again and she is born!  She came out screaming!  My baby is crying!  So not as the doctors told me would happen!  This was at 8:07am the time I was supposed to be induced!  Rick calls the kids!  We are ecstatic.  God is good to us! 

The doctors were amazed at her short cord!  Her cord was so short it would have never prolapsed!  The room was in a buzz with so many people I am amazed!  There was a whole team working with Hannah and then a there was me the doctor and the nurse with me!  Rick calls a few people, I text a few people too!  Hannah cries the whole time until they get her wrapped up in a blanket.  They ask me if I want to hold her before they take her down to the NICU.  I felt that was a gift to hold my baby.  I was mentally prepared that I'd not get to hold her.  I was so so thankful!  I could not wait to have my children see their baby sister. 

I got to hold her for about 10 minutes.  Then the nurse needed go weight her and do her blood sugar checks.  While this was going on Rick's mom and Rick's Aunt Jill come in and see Hannah and see me.  They were so thankful she is doing so well!  They loved her at first sight!  The nurse got Hannah's foot prints, weight, blood sugar.  Then the nurse discovered her blood sugar levels were too low.  She needed to go down to the NICU this was because of her low birth weight.  Rick will be going with her. I will get cleaned up and changed and then the nurse will take me down to see my baby in the NICU. 

NICU and I am going down to see her soon.  I eat a quick few bits of breakfast and the nurse then lets me go down to see my baby. She takes me down but everyone else needs to go wait in the waiting area for the NICU and then be allowed in when you could go in. 

I was allowed to stay with my baby and not have to stay in my room 330.  I spent the day with her, holding her hand as she lay in the warming bed.  She slept so tenderly.  I did ask if I could hold her and the nurse said of course!

What a gift to have my baby here with us and breathing on her own!  God is good! 

Holding Hannah! 

Cassie made a bunch of really neat things which we used a bunch of it while we were in the NICU!  Beppe brought a plant and a cute balloon! 

Here are the flowers Beppe brought! 

Part 2 continued soon! 

 

Psalms 23

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
³ He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell^[a] in the house of the Lord
Forever.

Blessings, Sandi (Hannah's mommy)