Remembering My Pregnancy: The Birth Day! Part 2

 The kids got to see Hannah real soon after she was born.  They all said she was so small!

At first all we could do was hold her hand and stroke her body! 

But we did not complain!

Remembering My Pregnancy:  The Birth Day! Part 2

I was so glad to be able to see Hannah and sit with her all day.  Here is my remembering account of the rest of the Hannah's Birth Day.  I go into her room in the NICU and see her laying in her warming bed all hooked up to an IV, monitor cord, and nasal cannula.  Hannah looked so peaceful and I really wanted to hold her but I was afraid to hold her because of all the cords and I did not know I could.  I was not sure I could,  Do I ask a nurse?  My children came in to see Hannah often taking turns,  My mom, Rick's mom and Aunt Jill all came in too to see Hannah!  They all loved you at first sight and thought you were so small!  We had not named you Hannah yet.  We were trying to decide between Lucy Grace and Hannah Grace.  While I was sitting alone with you Hannah, holding your hands, stroking your body  crying tears of joy and fears,  and laughing with peace.. I know God told me her name is Hannah Grace.  I told Rick and he was excited to tell the kids and everyone else!  Hannah Grace Kwant

Hannah's Neonatologist came to talk to Rick. She told him she thought for sure Hannah has Trisomy 18.  She gave him her reasons, all the physical makers where there.  Like her fingers, low set ears, and her other features.  I remember thinking when Hannah was first born,  she probably has Trisomy 18 as her fingers look like a typical Trisomy 18 child.  I don't care I love my baby anyway!  We will do all we can for her and love her as our child!!  Hannah is my miracle child and always will be.  The doctor also told Rick that we'd get a genetic testing done to see if she has Full Trisomy 18 or Mosaic Trisomy 18.  Mosaic Trisomy 18 would be a better diagnosis.  Rick really like Hannah's neonatalogist.  She is so kind and gentle. 

So lunch time came around.  I decided I needed to eat something.  So did the family,  Martin, Sam, Cassie, Heidi, Valerie, Nathan, Terri Lynn, my mom and dad, Rick's mom and Aunt Jill all went to the hospital cafeteria to have lunch. The kids loved being able to chose something special for lunch.  Rick and I went to eat lunch in my room where I gave birth to Hannah.  I shared my lunch with Rick.  While I was eating Hannah's doctor Kendra Smith came to talk with me and Rick.  She shared again her reasons that she believes Hannah has Trisomy 18 and asked us the hard questions which I just can't answer.  Like how long do you want us to do CPR on her to save her?  Do you want us to feed her?  Do we even try to resuscitate her?  I can not answer the questions but yes feed her and treat her as a normal baby.  We don't even know for sure she has Trisomy 18.  I cried a bunch while Dr. was there.  I usually don't cry much but today I was full of tears.  I'm not ready to let Hannah go!  I love her so much!  Thank the Lord God that we did not have to make no CPR decision while Hannah was in the NICU.  (You see Trisomy 18 babies forget to breath)

The NICU always have rounds which the nurses, doctors, therapist all get together and talk about the babies that are in the NICU.  Today I did not want to go to rounds I was to tired and weepy and just wanted to be with my baby.  I also did not want to hear the "bad diagnosis" for my baby!  Rick later asked me what should be do if we need to revieve Hannah?  Do we try to save her?  Do we let her go?  I cried, Rick cried!  This decision is too much for us!  Rick called his good friend and he gave us a very godly answer and just the words we needed to hear.  Do everything you can to save her until you know for sure she has Trisomy 18 and then you can decide from there!  Rick and I have peace with this answer. Rick went right away to the Doctor and told her this.  She was ok with our decision! 

Pastor Jon and Kelsy came to see Hannah and they prayer over her! 

I needed a nap so I stayed in my room after lunch to take a little nap.  I was so tired.  But I could not sleep.  At least I could close my eyes for a bit and pray.  Tami Hodge came to see me.  I cried as I told her what the doctors are asking us about Hannah. She prayed for us.  I decide I need to go into the bathroom again but this time I look at myself in the mirror!  Holy smoke I look terrible!  My eyes are so swollen from crying and lack of sleep!  No wonder my mom and Rick's mom and Aunt Jill told me to take a nap!  I looked so silly!   Tami stayed with me while I put some make up on at least I'm trying to look better.  I helped alittle!  Tami was so sweet she said I looked beautiful!

  Terri Lynn with me in the wheel chair and see in the back ground Cassie is carrying the beautiful bag of really neat stuff she made for Hannah!

Being wheeled in the wheelchair with Terri Lynn (Dylan Hodge wheeled me around too!)

Dylan Hodge wheeled me around the wheel chair which he enjoyed and Martin and Sam enjoyed that he came to visit.  Dylan is Martin and Sam's good friend and a great family friend!  Dylan wheeled me down the the waiting area where everyone waited for their turn to go see Hannah.  Terri Lynn hitched a ride with me and Dylan pushed me to go see Hannah!  (I told myself I'd stay in the wheel chair all day so I could heal faster!)

In the waiting area waiting to see Hannah!

Waiting room again!





Hannah had a few tests done the first day.  These tests were:  x-ray of her lungs,  ultrasound of her digestive system,  Echo cardiogram of her heart.  The tests were all good report.  Her heart does have a couple small holes. The doctor said they were not life threatening!  They will be able to start feeding her now that her digestive system is all connected and she has peed a diaper!  God is answering so many of our prayers! 

 Our sweet baby 2 hours old! 

 Nurse CeCe let me hold her! 



Rick's first time holding Hannah!  He was so excited and blessed to hold her!

Dalee, Nadalee, Olivia came to visit Hannah.  They all got to see Hannah laying in the warming bed.  Dalee told me you need to ask the nurse if you can hold Hannah whenever you want.  So I did ask the nurse and she said yes!  Yeah!!!

 Tami came to visit!

Dalee came to visit!



It has been a long day.  Our family left went home!  Rejoicing their sister is alive!  Rick got dinner from the cafeteria, I had my dinner up at my room from my tray.  After dinner Rick and I went down to be with Hannah.  We stayed until 8pm.  Then we went to bed!  I was tired! Rick slept in my room with me on the pull out bed!  What a blessing to have him right next to me!  .  I lay down to go to sleep and ponder my day.  I think of all the blessing and miracles God has shown us today.  God has His hands in our lives!  I am so happy to be able to hold Hannah!  She is my treasure and so beautiful!  I am proud of my daughter and I love her so much even though she will have special needs.  Who cares we love her no matter what! 

I did not sleep good, I just keep waking up but each time I woke up I knew Hannah was doing good. As the nurses told us if Hannah was not doing good they'd come get us.  It was a blessing to wake up in the morning and not have the NICU team waking us up!  I can't wait to see my baby and my children again today!  What a blessed mom I am! 

Psalms 127

Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.
² It is vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late,
To eat the bread of sorrows;
For so He gives His beloved sleep.

³ Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
⁴ Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
⁵ Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Love, Sandi Kwant (Hananh's mommy)