Dear Hannah: Remembering My Pregnancy (Aug 2010)

This ultrasound shows Hannah holding her foot with her hand!  Amazing to see!

Hannah's beautiful profile!

Here is a picture of me with my pregnant belly. 

My Journal (remembering my pregnancy August 2010)

Here is from my journal.  I wrote this as I remembered my pregnancy.  I wrote this a few weeks after Hannah went to be with Jesus.  I was so scared I'd forgot things so I made sure I wrote all I could remember down. I know my journal writings are a bit wild but I just want to share what my pencil wrote down at the time.  I plan to share more from my pregnancy journal over the next couple months. 

Dear Hannah Grace:

You know you were the only grandbaby that Pake, Beppe or Grandma ever had seen in an ultrasound.  We wanted them to see you.  We were so excited to have them see you in an ultrasound.  They loved seeing you!  Dad and I decided that we wanted to find out it you were a boy or a girl because Pake, Beppe and Grandma were there to see you.  The ultrasound technician said,"It's a girl!"  We were thrilled!  We love little girls!  We all got to see you hold your foot with your hand in the ultrasound.  We all were amazed. Because we saw you do that with your foot holding your hand, we knew you would be healthy.  It was like a sign God was giving us.  I can still see your hand holding your foot.  It is a picture in my mind that I will never forget!. 

We had to talk to the Maternal Fetal Doctors again.  Hannah, I was really worried because I did not want to see that cold genetic counselor again who wanted us to decide to terminate you.  I know God was with us and I didn't need to worry because a really nice lady walked into the room to talk to us about your ultrasound.  She knew we did not want an amniocentesis and she did not push us and she was ok with our decision.  Praise God!  The lady did tell us that you were growing but you were small for your age. Also the cyst on your brain was still there.  We were thankful to find out you were growing.  The cyst to me was not as concerning because the genetic counselor told me that cysts can be found in normal babies brains but disappear  before 32 weeks.  I was praying this was what going to happen with you, my sweet baby girl!

We just trusted God and leaned on the hope that you would be healthy.  We prayed that you be born as God created you fro the foundations of the earth.  We'd love you no matter what!  We still believed and trusted that you would be born normal and healthy.  But inside I knew you were a special baby .  We still wanted you no matter what!  You were loved everyday since the minute we found out we pregnant!  I told God we'd welcome a special needs baby with open arms!

When we left the Maternal Fetal Medicine office, they had us make an appointment for the next ultrasound.  This one will be in October around the time, you would be 32 weeks along!  Until then we shared our  concern for you as a prayer request with a few close friend.  We wanted at the time, to know the people we shared our concern over you to be really praying for you.  We did not want you to become gossip.  I guess I probably would have done that differently now.  I believe I should have had as many people praying for you right from the beginning and not waited until you were almost born.  I'm sorry Hannah for that!  

Pregnancy with you, Hannah, is a piece of cake. I have had no problems at all!  

I knew you were going to be just as God created you to be.  I love you, Sweetie Pie ♥  and Dad's Little Peanut!

Philippians 4: 4-8

 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.   Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.  

Love you and Miss you,  Sandi Kwant (Hannah's mommy)