Reflecting on The First Time We Got the Word Our Baby May Have Problems
It was early in July and I was 17 weeks. pregnant. (By the way, I was so excited to be pregnant) I had an appointment for an OB checkup with a different doctor from my clinic. In my mind I thougtht this would be OK. I always wanted to meet the woman doctor some of my friends have raved about. My first impression of this new woman doctor was not good. She was not friendly and was so all about business. She didn't even take the time to get to know me other than my OB chart. Anyway, she said it was time to get the Quad Screening. It was my choice. I did not have to do this blood test. She explained that this blood test could tell us if there is a chance of problems like Down Syndrome or Spina Bifida in your baby. I just said it was fine to have this blood draw as I knew in my mind: my baby is fine. I was positive.
A few days later I get a call from this same doctor. I was shocked! why would she be calling? Anyway I could feel the concern in her voice about my baby. She said, "According to your blood draw, your baby has a 1 in 2 chance of having Trisomy 18. I want you to get a Level 2 ultrasound as soon as possible and then you can decide if you want to terminate." I immediately said in a firm voice, "That is not an option!" I asked her a bit about Trisomy 18 and she really couldn't even tell me much about it. I had no idea what this was but I knew we could face whatever we had to with God by our side. He can heal my baby too! I immediately called my husband to tell him what the doctor just told me. He really didn't know the concern because he as me didn't even know what Trisomy 18 was.
By the way I will never go see Dr. Rowland ever again. I am really upset to this day that she would even mention to me that termination was an option!
After I got off the phone I went to look up Trisomy 18 on the Internet. All I could find was so depressing. I decided I would not be researching the Internet much about Trisomy 18 because I did not want to fill my mind with negative things. I needed to fill my mind with God's promises and His Word. I truly felt God would heal my baby and she would be born healthy.
A week later I find myself with my husband down in the big city of Everett to have this Level 2 ultrasound. We checked in and went to wait in the waiting area. (Which was really cool) We were up on the 5th floor and we sat in front of a huge wall of windows which looked over the Puget Sound. It was beautiful! As we sat and watched the birds flying, the clouds moving, we knew God had all things in His hands. When we were finally called to come into the ultrasound room, I was happy to see that the rooms were big and spacious ( I wanted to bring all the kids to see their baby sister soon). As I lay there we observed our baby in the ultrasound screen. We saw our babies sweet fingers and feet, we saw her heart beating strongly away! As we saw her in the screen we were even more in love with this little person that we have never even met. The technician printed us a few pictures of out baby for us to take home. (I treasure these photos) When the technician was done with all his measurements and observations of our baby; We were sent back to the big wall of windows to sit and wait once again.
We waited for what seemed like such a long time! Then we were called back to see the genetic counselor. Ok this was all so new to us. We had 7 other pregnancies and never had a problem. The genetic counselor was an Oriental lady. She started to tell us about our baby. She was so cold and matter of fact. We felt like she was presenting her case so we can decide to get an amniocentesis so then we could terminate our precious baby. She explained all the negatives of our baby. Our baby was measuring small and she had a cyst on her brain. According to this genetic counselor this was proof enough that your baby for sure had Trisomy 18. But then she did say some normal baby's had cysts on their brain and it just disappears. When we heard this I was hanging on to the hope our baby just had a cyst that would disappear. The genetic counselor pushed and pushed the amniocentesis so then we could terminate. We firmly said, "no!" The reason we did not want an amniocentesis was because the risk of a miscarriage was too high! 1 in 100 was too high for us.
As we were walking to our pickup, I told Rick I never want to go back there! because they just want to get rid of my baby and they have my baby already labeled as defective.
This time in our lives was a stretch of our faith. We relied daily on God's promises and God's Word. This verse was my strength and helped me have peace that no one could explain.
Philippians 4:6&7
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Love, Sandi (Hannah's Mommy)
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